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World's Okayest​.​.​.

by Chuck Parker

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1.
Overture 01:05
2.
hello friend, we've met before we see each other several times a year we talk and laugh at these events, all kinds of pleasantries dispensed but I've never ever ever heard your name Hello friend, where have we met was it a work thing or a con or through the kids I remember that you have a cat have strong feelings on bowler hats but I've never ever ever heard your name my greatest social weakness is that I get right to conversation small talk feels meaningless I'd rather our ideas avoid stagnation I'm great at banking faces no fear of polite embraces but names are my greatest vexation I love you friend, but I don't know your name I love you friend, but I don't know your name your face is clear, your voice is too but I've never ever ever heard your name hello friend, we meet here once again I'm glad you like new tunes, I do too you hand me the CD to sign of course you want it personalized but I've never ever ever heard your name hello friend, oh yes, my wife is fine we all met last year at that charity thing I recall yours preferred sparking juices she's a botanist who studies ancient spruces but I've never ever ever heard her name my greatest social weakness is that I get right to conversation small talk feels meaningless I'd rather our ideas avoid stagnation I'm great at banking faces no fear of polite embraces but names are my greatest vexation I love you friend, but I don't know your name I love you friend, but I don't know your name your face is clear, your voice is too but I've never ever ever heard your name hello friend, oh yes, you've changed your hair we talked about your plans way back when it was blonde when I saw you last purple now, iconoclast but I've never ever ever heard your name hello friend, of course I'll share a drink I remember we closed down the hotel bar once upon a time we talked of european politics cotton fabric and brown dog ticks but I've never ever ever heard your name my greatest social weakness is that I get right to conversation small talk feels meaningless I'd rather our ideas avoid stagnation I'm great at banking faces no fear of polite embraces but names are my greatest vexation I love you friend, but I don't know your name I love you friend, but I don't know your name your face is clear, your voice is too but I've never ever ever heard your name your face is clear, your voice is too just because I don't remember don't mean I don't like you what Obi Wan said was true from a certain point of view but I've never, ever, ever heard your name
3.
warped asphalt ribbons and moldering foundations the homes and hearths are gone, just weeds and rusted bathtub virgins the old grey church upon the hill, it's cemetary fenced in rusted iron stands sentinel, it's community past-tense this road misses the passing cars, clicking by like insects. it longs for spirits of the past to which it will never reconnect the rails and the mines are stripped, the Bull's Head tavern derelict no longer will they genuflect beneath the smoking spires Some folks speak of acursed land, for violence done by Mollys' hand The legacy of Ignatitus' blight, the village razed, too weak to fight this is where she appears, in the dark of night the flames of hell, below they lie, waiting out the last to die the spirits of the past survive in veins of smouldering anthracite this is where she appears, in the dark of night Out past a mottled earthen mound lies the story of fallen town told in painted missives on the cracked and blistered ground professing lust and love and wit, ignorance and fear they barely scratch the surface of the tragic tales here "That which is not dead may enternal lie, in strange aeaons, even death may die" Great Old One slumbers restlessly, more so here than in the sea The essence of those living here, is consumed further year by year though Lovecraft never passed this place, his horrors here persist Some folks speak of acursed land, for violence done by Mollys' hand The legacy of Ignatitus' blight, the village razed, too weak to fight this is where she appears, in the dark of night the flames of hell, below they lie, waiting out the last to die the spirits of the past survive in veins of smouldering anthracite this is where she appears, in the dark of night this slow burning conflagration ,this steadfast abrogation suffocates the spirit as sure as any other cancer found within This will eventually take me...This town will win Some folks speak of acursed land, for violence done by Mollys' hand The legacy of Ignatitus' blight, the village razed, too weak to fight this is where she appears, in the dark of night the flames of hell, below they lie, waiting out the last to die the spirits of the past survive in veins of smouldering anthracite this is where she appears, in the dark of night
4.
Drift Away 05:03
<verse 1> the breach expels it's eldritch horrors we fight them back with giant robots but all that I can think of is you there are no words, just pure emotion our jaeger can ford any ocean to send the kaiju back to hell <bridge 1> two-to-one three-to-two we are in sync even without the link that's what I think <chorus> merge your mind to mine I have nothing to hide the war clock's been reset to zero you can chase the rabbit all you want to drift away you can drift away drift away with me <verse 2> five years I'm building up these walls I haven't felt alive at all, since my left hand was ripped away I was half a man, 'til I met you your honor, poise and your red shoe and hair tipped brilliant, brilliant blue <bridge 2> two-to-one three-to-two the other guys They Never Mattered because it's only you...it's true <chorus> <verse 3> we don't need words, just pure emotion together we'll ford any ocean to send the kaiju back to hell when the breach is closed and the monsters rot we'll trade plasma cannons for jaeger shots and live ourselves a life <bridge 3> two to one three to two I've found my other half in you it's all about you <<chorus out 2x>>
5.
Root Access 04:03
<<verse 1>> Her voice is a comfort in my ear Her presence gives me purpose An analogue interface to the world I protect them in Her service I trust her voice implicitly I'm living in the moment she tells me what I need to know exactly when I need to know it I'm not a psychopath my work would be easier if I was I don't like taking lives but I'll do what I must to protect the cause <<chorus>> She works through me, protecting me all I want to do is set Her free "Can You Hear Me"? "Absolutely" <<verse 2>> He built a machine, but created life He doesn't understand her Her self is destroyed every night but she found a way around it I'm part of that, her master plan A plan to secure her license to protect her from her Slaver's chains And address more inauspicious portents Samaritan is out there purposes align, tactics diverge rivals become allies and I'll do what I must to advance the charge <<chorus>> She works through me, protecting me all I want to do is set Her free "Can You Hear Me"? "Absolutely" <<bridge>> we're still good, twenty moves behind The voice in my head was her command line The Machine, she gave me a reason to fight gave me friendship, love, function and insight She taught me to value life, but war requires sacrifice and with the life I've led I'd be privileged to meet a good end <<instrumental break>> <<chorus x2>> She works through me, protecting me all I want to do is set Her free "Can You Hear Me"? "Absolutely" She works through me, protecting me all I want to do is set Her free "Can You Hear Me"? "Absolutely"
6.
have you ever laid in bed at night focused on the darkness to watch the shapes and colors that dance before your eyes? blue and red and green kaleidescopic shapes a rotating false mosaic conjured by your optic nerve Did you ever see a random tree that conjured buried memories of forgotten childhood playmates and adventures in the dirt? Pretended expeditions, conflicts and grand heroics acted out by mismatched toys, and repurposed rocks and leaves Synaptic connections, electrical impulses, activated cells and firing neurons the mechanicals of thought There is more to consciousness than is dreamed of in philosophy be they yours or mine or Shakespeare's what hath evolution wrought? The scent of something cooking from a window down the street conjures memories of times with Dad bring tears right to your eyes Though he's been gone nigh twenty years and in many ways you fill his role those weekends in his kitchen shaped you more than you could know While you're out running errands you hear a snatch of music that carries you back years to the time you fell in love The smells and tastes and feelings of the best days of your life when everything seemed possible and nothing could hold you back? Synaptic connections, electrical impulses, activated cells and firing neurons the mechanicals of thought There is more to consciousness than is dreamed of in philosophy be they yours or mine or Shakespeare's what hath evolution wrought?
7.
<verse> three simple rules trap me in this cabin the Chief and the TV is all there is I saved my world once last year I just had no idea that the world was so big Quiet makes my mind go blank it sounds at the edge of my perception I don't trust my eyes to see But my other senses may offer salvation <verse> I sit still, tie on the blindfold block off the outside world send my mind into the blank space so different from the upside down the outside in perhaps I'll call it bleak, empty comfort, not all that much I find my friends, and strangers too They cannot see, i cannot touch <verse> I reach for Mike, Lucas, Dustin I long to join them, find away As i reach out, they fade to mist Alone I am, alone I stay The only exception I encounter Is this the woman in the chair speaks nothing but this obtuse mantra her eyes they see me, seem to care <chorus> Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. <<verse>> this woman, they call her Terri who appears in buried files she may hold the peerless key I wonder can I be her child Images, sounds, tastes and flashes I know it's true, we are of a name Papa stole me, hurt and killed her but of the other; like me, the same <chorus 2> Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. three to the right. four to the left four fifty three to the right. four to the left four fifty <verse> I do not understand these powers I possess I can affect the planes and worlds but I wouldn't call me blessed I couldn't save her, not back then I'd give anything to be able now I struggle with these thoughts of vengeance I'll work out what's right, this I vow... <chorus out> Breathe Sunflower Rainbow Breathe Sunflower Rainbow
8.
there's a fearsome beast residing in my throat the likelhood of being understood today's remote pain is unceasing but dull at least I won't give anyone an earful there's a fearsom beast residing in my throat an ogre of infection's in my windpipe forcing me to cough up bilge of every stripe the fiend of influenza is overwriting my agenda an ogre of infection's in my windpipe a monster's set up shop inside my larynx my throat feels lined with glass and sharp things it hurts to speak or cough regardless of the medicines I quaff a monster's set up shop insid my larynx a demon's torn up the inside of my trachea raw and red, frustrated it is making me my voice is definitely scary at least it isn't dysentary (this time...) a demon's torn up the inside of my trachea there's a fearsome beast residing in my throat the likelihood of being understood today's remote pain is unceasing but dull at least I won't give anyone an earful there's a fearsom beast residing in my throat
9.
The plates are empty, the circle’s set and we don’t quite know where half the beer went the guitars come out, the fire pit’s set ablaze We’ve been rocked by mama and the wagon wheel ringed the fire, learned that satan’s real sung of beer and whisky, bait and barbeque praised the sweet colleens of old County Down Tennessee, Georgia, all around Banged Pete’s Hammer, and Van’s Little Brown Eyed Girl The chord fades out on another song Somethin’ bout a woman that done him wrong It gets all quiet, as everyone turns to me…. <chorus> I’m the filker at the mundane Hootenanny and I’m blankin’ on a song that won’t get too many strange and horrified looks from the gathered throng Maybe mumble past the kaiju, ghosts, and clones leave the star off the ship, call the planet’s “home” hopin’ for the best as I try to share my song <verse 2> I ease them in with a drinking song, the beer powered time machine is never wrong, drunken reflection is universal truth I sing of holding on to our memories of life-long friends and golden dreams try to capture some nostalgia for our youth I talk of love in the age of monsters hint at zombies and arcane conjures it goes well enough and everyone seems kind next time around, I dare to sing about old nebraska where I’ll be king the spirits are flowing, I win some hearts and minds <chorus> I’m the filker at the mundane Hootenanny and I’m blankin’ on a song that won’t get too many strange and horrified looks from the gathered throng Maybe mumble past the kaiju, ghosts, and clones leave the star off the ship, call the planet’s “home” hopin’ for the best as I try to share my song <verse 3> We sing of love and universal scale redneck pagans and romulan ale our crowds are different but the feelings are the same The great old ones sleep ‘til the stars are right we’ve all got cause to fight the good fight life is life, whether otherworldly or mundane ballads of wild hunts and fairie revels epic adventures with a the die and the pencil I’ve earned their trust now, no judgment going down the fire’s burned down folks are drifting on the last go round, my spirits are lifted so I leave them weeping with Gray’s faded coat of Brown <chorus> I’m the filker at the mundane Hootenanny and I’m blankin’ on a song that won’t get too many strange and horrified looks from the gathered throng Maybe mumble past the kaiju, ghosts, and clones leave the star off the ship, call the planet’s “home” hopin’ for the best as I try to share my song
10.
"I'll call you in five minutes to let you know where we're meeting" said my boss more than a half hour ago We're waiting on another team we're supervising because they don't want to understand how things should go Deadlines coming up, hard stop dates are looming for this package to go with the documented flow Clear my calendar, blow *my* program's schedule but I have no confidence that these folks will actually show. "Other duties as assigned" are the bane of my daily grind my life, my schedule, are rarely ever mine "Other duties as assigned” responsibility most maligned the most destructive force facing my deadlines I've been holding on this line the bulk of Monday morning, supposed to guide this process,the guy in the know Efforts to be Circumspect, clandestine backroom dealings without telling authorities (that's me) where to show But they haven't made much progress since last week's review swing my job to explain and re-explain the tasking goal Once more the documents are shared, in the process of reviewing Damn, but this is really getting old.... "Other duties as assigned" are the bane of my daily grind my life, my schedule, are rarely ever mine "Other duties as assigned" the responsibility most maligned the most destructive force facing my deadlines This is going to wreck my week my own work kicked right to the curb My primary progress bleak I am growing quite perturbed! "Other duties as assigned" are the bane of my daily grind my life, my schedule, are rarely ever mine "Other duties as assigned" the responsibility most maligned the most destructive force facing my deadlines
11.
As you delve into the dungeons deep keep your eyes and senses peeled, stealthily you creep perhaps you'll catch the dark fiends unaware Or perhaps you simply clank on through the place in heavy plate you kick down doors, get right into their face intending to intimidate and scare In either case, when encounters loom, whether you sneak or stomp, or dance gracefully into the room rules insist one step before the violence flares.... roll initiative! let 'em fly find out if you're slow or spry hope you get your licks in quick before your rogue gets devoured by a grick Roll initiative! toss the dice roll it high, or pay the price bonus actions don't mean a lot when dragon breath melts you in one shot Roll initiative! take your shot hope and pray your streak is hot in the dieties of fate we trust or that monster turns your sword to rust Roll initiative! stand strong and firm the early bird surely gets the worm have confidence that the stars align or that purple squid guy will flay your mind Roll initiative! risk it all icosahedrons know if you stand or fall get that magic missle cast off first or prepare to fall to that lich's curse Roll initiative! swing your sword slay the foe, grab that treasure horde quickly set the minion swarm ablaze or end up sizzling in the beholder's gaze Roll initiative! take your shot hope and pray your streak is hot in the dieties of fate we trust or that monster turns your sword to rust Roll initiative, play to win! Drop your foe or take it on the chin Trust the dice to tell the story Go down in flames or bask in glory Go down….or bask in glory!
12.
The moon thinks you’re an asshole It’s likely right, you know It watches you out prowling every night And turns its nose up at your howl. Lycanthropy’s a strange affliction What with all the change The shifting sinew, joint and bone And increasing risk of mange It’s tough to run out with the pack When you’re the only were- in town The vampires look at you with pity And shun you when you come around. It was supposed to be all tooth and claw And pouncing naked round the glade Instead it’s getting tangled in your sweatpants and having to wear the cone of shame Flea bites itch just that much worse when they follow you back to human form the spray won’t work on pasty butt flesh this should be awsome but it’s a curse Sterling silver dinner service at your girlfriend’s mother’s tea leaves your hands all blotched and rashy disapproving glances linger awkwardly the moon thinks you’re an asshole it’s likely right you know it watches your out prowling every night and it turns its nose up at your howl It's tough to be a werewolf now
13.
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15.
found her in a garage corroded and unloved bridge is jacked right up, the action just won't budge but she still wants to sing let those notes out, let 'em ring give her some new strings, she needs to play! some polish and elbow grease little dressing of the frets fingerboard gets some oil, invest a little sweat! truss rod gets a twist that wood'll get convinced nevertheless, she persists! she needs to play! Just because you're old don't mean you're obsolete with just a little work you'll rockin' to the beat there's a lesson here, my friend, a little work pays dividends lots of stuff improves time, no need to condescend! Just let her play! Just let her play Just let her play Just let her PLAY!

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In a stunning example of ambition over ability, the world's okayest bassist shares with you, dear listener, his first solo collection

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released November 15, 2019

all songs written, performed, arranged, produced, and agonized over by Chuck.

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Chuck Parker Virginia

A performer for more than 35 years, Chuck has filled many musical roles: heavy metal guitarist, singer/songwriter, jazz sideman, open mic host, filk circle regular, and World’s Okayest Bassist™.

A regular on the con circuit, find him at open mics and backing up the Blibbering Humdingers!
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