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The Illusion of Incompetence (Ball of Insecurities)

from The Blanket Fort Demos (FAWM '21) by Chuck Parker

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about

another prompt - write a song about fighting insecurity.

As if! I know nothing about that....um, yeah....

lyrics

A man struggles with the feeling
that he's never good enough
He feels he's an imposter
any talent is but bluff

Never matter that he's often praised
for contributions to the whole
draws good results from chaos
he's but a pretender to the role
----

A ball of insecurities,
self doubting, brimming with unease
For whatever reason he can't see
that he's not what he perceives to be

it's a never-ending struggle
with self-sourced causality

------

The inverse of the study
Of Doc Kruger and Doc Dunning
Objective competence is evident
yet sees himself as nothing

the lack of confidence a barrier
to perceived success and esteem
his maladjusted self-impression
feels impossible to redeem

-----
A ball of insecurities,
self doubting, brimming with unease
For whatever reason he can't see
that he's not what he perceives to be

it's a never-ending struggle
with self-sourced causality
------

On some level he's aware
this perception is misplaced
he struggles to discard it
but it's buried deep, innate

he contemplates the source
of his sense that he's unworthy
drawing from an awkward childhood
or early failures on his journey

----

Is he a tragic hero
struggling against the tide
or would he just rather feel so
blaming factors from outside

the distinction would be simpler
if evidence was on his side

verifiably he's good enough
yet he can't feel that way inside!

-----
A ball of insecurities,
self doubting, brimming with unease
For whatever reason he can't see
that he's not what he perceives to be

it's a never-ending struggle
with self-sourced causality

-----

credits

from The Blanket Fort Demos (FAWM '21), released March 5, 2021
everything by chuck

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Chuck Parker Virginia

A performer for more than 35 years, Chuck has filled many musical roles: heavy metal guitarist, singer/songwriter, jazz sideman, open mic host, filk circle regular, and World’s Okayest Bassist™.

A regular on the con circuit, find him at open mics and backing up the Blibbering Humdingers! ... more

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